Day 33: Turn Your Love Into a Verb
Sometimes we fall into routine and autopilot after a while in our relationships.
This can be problematic when our routine leads us into an over-familiarity with our lover. We begin to take our experience for granted because our brain has been lulled by sameness. I recently learned that we have a small part of our brain called Broca’s Area. This part of the brain is the guardian or gatekeeper to our conscious awareness. Only that which surprises Broca is allowed to pass.
When our relationship falls into sameness and routine, just like any other area of our life, we are no longer surprised – and neither is Broca. So even though good things are happening, things that probably delighted us in the beginning, we don’t even notice them anymore. We have literally grown numb to our love and lover.
So spice it up by turning your love into a verb. 
Today, begin thinking of your love as an act of relating and stop thinking of it as a relationship. This means that when you pay attention to how you relate moment to moment. You maintain conscious awareness of how you and your lover interact.
I also suggest you surprise your partner’s Broca every once in a while.
Do something different, out of the ordinary… just because.
And add some more verbs to your relationship. Is your love sauntering or tangoing? Is date night an act of celebrating love or teasing each other playfully? Have fun with it!
Comments
A beautiful insight! I cherish my relationship with my wife because it is very much a verb, like you describe. I treasure the little ways we look out for one another.
So I applied your thoughts to my business instead. I don’t mean to diminish your thoughts on interpersonal relationships in any way. But I found that the noun vs verb thing works there, too.
After all, what is a business but a relationship with those we serve. I’ve felt somewhat shell-shocked lately by a series of negative interactions with customers — to the point where I find myself cringing whenever I see one of them trying to contact me. Your insight struck me with how easy it is to fall into thinking as a business owner (noun) instead of someone who serves (verb) customers/clients.
As a noun, the business becomes a possession that exists solely to serve me. As a verb, it becomes a series of interactions with others that benefit us all and tie us together.
In any relationship, some unpleasant interactions will come and need to be dealt with. But those interactions shouldn’t be cringe worthy; They’re just part of the relationship.
What makes them cringe worthy is when I view my business as MY possession (a noun) that now is failing to serve ME in the way I want it to. Working through the unpleasant interactions only makes the business stronger, when I define the business in terms of relationships.
Again, I don’t mean to take away from your beautiful insight on love, but I thought you’d appreciate hearing how it impacted me.
Jeff, this does not take away from this insight at all! I think it’s a brilliant connection and I’m glad you shared it with all of us.
Very cool!
I absolutely love this perspective. It’s very powerful and beautiful. Thanks Jeff!
♥
BE, DO, HAVE.
Love & Passion is a BEingness & DOingness of yummy. Yummy never gets old. Yes?
Off the charts fire!
Yes – love is an action
And I’ve found the more loving I DO, the more I feel.